Who You Are; Innocent Warrior

My inspiration does not only come from Broadway musicals. Disney musicals fit in there too.  The song living in my brain lately is from Moana. "Know Who You Are." Now, Lin Manual Miranda wrote lyrics for this movie so there is no wonder that I can relate to the music in this film. Here are the lyrics: Listen to it while you read. Know who you are






I have crossed the horizon to find you
(Ou loto mamaina toa)
I know your name
(Manatu atu)
They have stolen the heart from inside you
(Taku pelepele)
But this does not define you
(Manatunatu)
This is not who you are
You know who you are

Sometimes I feel like cancer has stole the heart from inside me. I am sure you have seen through some of my other blogs I question my purpose. I question why me....and why not me.  It all leads back to a bit of soul searching. Finding a new normal does not just happen, it is a huge task.  I can SAY it all I want. But I have to BELIEVE it.

Who YOU are?  Who ARE you?  What does that mean?  Who we SAY we are.......Who we BELIEVE we are.....What is my PURPOSE? What really matters? What do You want FROM me? What do You want FOR me?

As I am reading the lyrics and listening to the music pondering who I am, another song from Moana comes on. I love this song; when I listened to the music in my car I never picked up on the title nor at the time did I think about what the lyrics meant, for it is not in English. I never knew what they were saying but it is so beautiful.  Today, as I am crafting my blog listening to the soundtrack I find out that the song is called

"An Innocent Warrior"

I never took the time to know the title. So I go on a hunt to translate this song.  Oh my goodness, my metastatic sister!!!! The story behind the songwriter was MADE for us.  Check out This blog to read all about it. In a nutshell the creator, Opetaia Foa’i, wrote this song in remembrance of 19 young girls who lost their lives when their dormitory at a secondary school caught fire in Tuvalu, the song "Loimata e maligi" translation is below. Such powerful lyrics. "The Innocent Warrior" from Moana is modeled after this song. Listen to it here: loimata_e_maligi

Let the tears fall down
My heart is filled with sorrow
For we have lost
Many loved ones
Let the healing flow over me
and wash this pain away
For we have lost
Many of our young women
It¹s hard to understand
That 19 lives were taken
And along with it
The future of a small nation
Let the tears fall down
My heart is filled with sorrow
For we have lostMany loved ones

This song is such a beautiful tribute for the loss of those 19 young ladies. The lyrics hit me with a haunting melody especially sung in the native language. It hits my heart and the tears flow for how I feel every time we lose a women to breast cancer. The tears fall down. My heart is filled with sorrow. It is a hard existence as breast cancer women. I think that is why I continue to search for making sense to who I am now. 

Here are the lyrics for "The Innocent Warrior":

Your eyes so full of wonder 
Your heart an innocent warrior
There’s a task for you
My dearest one
Let it flow over you
This freedom you feel
And your deep thoughts
Our young girl
Your eyes so full of wonder

As breast cancer warriors, WE ARE INNOCENT. Cancer has stolen much from us but this does NOT have to define us.  This is not who we are.  Know WHO you are.  It is time ladies to take a journey into to self reflection. 

I have begun to answer my own question. In just wanting to express myself  writing this blog I have stumbled upon the a big piece of the puzzle.  I am  an innocent warrior.

Warriors have taken on quite the significance in my journey. One of the first images on my vision board was this:

I know that I am a child of God. With Him by my side I will not fail. The king can be who you believe in spiritually. That could be the universe. For me, it is my Father in heaven.

Then my friend sent me this warrior early on in my journey and continues to send to me before each scan:

I always felt like the warrior had to be strong, brave and really a bad ass; but innocent? I never thought of that. I LOVE thinking of myself as an innocent warrior. Because it shows that it is not my fault.

I am innocent.
I did nothing wrong.
It is not my fault.

I have a huge task before me. My eyes are open and full of wonder. I am letting go of the cancer guilt. This paradigm shift is opening me up to find out who I am.

I am more than cancer.

DO you know that? 
YOU are more than cancer. 
Sit with that.
You are an innocent warrior.
Let the guilt go.

Now it is time to accept the task before you,
Learn about who you are.

Take some time today to reflect on these statements:

Who YOU are?  Who ARE you?  What does that mean?  Who we SAY we are.......Who we BELIEVE we are.....What is my PURPOSE? What really matters? What do You want FROM me? What do You want FOR me?

That is what I am doing. Sitting still with all my ideas. Some are easy. Some take work. Everyone will have different answers, but finding who you are is the first step into self acceptance and learning to live again. Also, I believe who you are today does not have to stay the same tomorrow or in the future.  We all have the power to make changes.

Be still, Innocent Warriors and find out WHO YOU ARE